Because today is a happy day, have some Shortpacked Batman!

He is Batman.
He is good at everything.
He turns boys teh gay.
He can make anything funny.
He can breathe in space?
He can breathe in space.
Hannity & Batman on Fox News.

 CA Courts?  It's lame to uphold referendums when they deprive a demographic of its basic human rights and dignity.  LAME.  
This should be splashed across the headlines, but it's currently being overshadowed by Obama's Supreme Court nominee.  

I console myself with the idea that the socially progressive future will look back on this bullshit and laugh.  That social equality is a relentless movement that will not be stopped by a few speed bumps on the road toward harmony.

Here's Midnighter (of the Authority) having a similar realization:
( Hey, can you hear me in the Bible Belt--? )

( Spoilertastic if you don't know what Ozy did 35 minutes ago )

I'm sure someone somewhere has realized and pointed this out looong before me, but I was browsing earlier this morning and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.  I'm still not over it.  It's so damn eerie.

Guys?  Go watch the South Park superhero-parody episode The Coon.  Nods to a couple movies, but especially spoofing Batman.  Please also note the TDK-aped background music!  XD

(All the usual content warnings about South Park apply to this episode so... yeah.  But hilarious.)

Though it violates my slashtastic standards, I found this quite amusing nonetheless. 


Edit:  Also, my daily Batman-research kick led me to this interesting article about how Bruce Wayne is the mask.  It included really intriguing references to two outside sources I want to track down.  First, an article of Batman Beyond where a sonically-powered villain is trying to drive the aged/retired Bruce Wayne crazy, but fails because it keeps calling him "Bruce" and Bruce says "that's not what I call myself in my head."  Second, near the end of Gaiman's Sandman (which I read a few years ago) in The Wake lots of super and comic book heroes are gathered around, talking to each other.  They are in the Dreaming, where you appear as you picture yourself in your own mind.  You'd think it would be Superman/Kal-El talking to Bruce Wayne... but instead you get Clark Kent talking to Batman. 

Leave Superman alone in a room and he defaults to Clark Kent; leave Bruce Wayne alone in a room and he defaults to Batman.  I've been finding this pair increasingly opposite and touching... the alien metahuman who defaults to his inner happy human and the tortured badass normal who defaults to his cultivated inner demon. 

Guys?  There actually is a smiley face on Mars.

"Batman is no more gay than Wonder Woman is into bondage or the Flash is into red latex." -Terry Moore

For anyone who likes gorgeous pictures of muscle-y, naked men posing together, for the love of God check out these calendar pics of some crazy European rugby team.  Nnnnngh.

In Watchmen news, this crazy conservative lady rails against how freaking violent and sex-saturated the movie is.  (I can't wait.  XD)  Her ostensible point is that you shouldn't bring your li'l kiddies to see this movie (that's why it's rated R, durrr).  Then again, I did see some parents with young kids and toddlers (!!!) in TDK, so maybe that actually needs to be said.  Still, the whole zomg America is so corrupt and violent, these superheroes aren't even superheroes is... kind of the point of the comic and the movie, lady.  Sheesh.

Also, plz to check out the best photoshop contest ever: 104 ways to hilariously ruin the watchmen moive.
My faves being here and here.

Zomg, I wrote a fic-let.
It's short and unbeta-ed and hopefully doesn't suck.  It also took me disproportionately long to write.  Woo!

Title:  A Short Manifesto
Author: slicensmile
Prompt:  Bad Luck
Word Count:  622
Pairings:  implied Batman/Joker
Disclaimer:  I own nothing and I'm broke, so don't bother suing. 
Rating: Meh, PG-13
Warnings:  Language, violence, implied violent slash, nihilism, overuse of italics
Summary:  J grandstanding to a(n imaginary) audience

P.S.  Also, don't hate me for being on Team Knight.  Deep down my heart belongs to the baddies and y'all know it.  XD

Sweet essay about how ridiculous it is that Batman drives such a high-profile car.

If you're a creature of the night, would you drive around in a really distinctive car with loud pipes or would you keep it on the down-low? You're supposed to be a Living Shadow, dude. You are the night, etc.

First, a brief history of Mr. J's character.  Did you know the Comics Code Authority basically had to censor his character at one point?  Best.  Villain.  Ever.

Then a discussion of the debatable gayness of Batman and his "wards", and a bit about general homosexuality in comics.  Personally I'm too creeped out to think about Bats with Robin... but then again my Batsy is a dark, grim bastard who gets his rocks off hatefucking the Joker.  Not too much room for an annoying little Robin flirting around being obnoxious there.  (Which is why I'm kind of into Frank Miller's noir treatment of the start of Batman and Robin's relationship, though the story may be full of pulp and crack...)

Aaaand last, an essay that comes to the conclusion that Batman is crimesexual, possibly while inventing the word.  Win.

I've been nonexistent because of classes.  Effing classes.  Why do I have so much trouble just doing the shit I'm supposed to do?  I know my heart isn't in this shit anymore.  I want to be doing something that matters.  I want to be in the academy already, or freaking working for the DA's office.  Not just bullshitting about literature.  I've got to slog my way through and just finish.  Maybe I'll even have some fun by accident.  

I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to class right now.  Instead, I'm sitting here with my heart in my throat, afraid.  What the hell, self?  Yes, last time you were in school bad things happened.  And the time before that, bad things happened.  So some of your worst times have been here.  I can see how that would fuck with your mindset.  But now is now, and you're going to make damn sure none of that shit happens again.  So get your mind back in the game, self, and just do what you have to do.  Calm.  The.  Fuck.  Down.

This is what happens when Batman has that nightmare where you show up for work naked.  And you can buy it on a t-shirt.  I shit you not.

I need to stop getting drunk so much.  I'm really overdoing it, and in a bad way.  It's making me too honest, if you know what I mean.  Actually, I'm not sure if I'm going to regret that tomorrow (ug today it's already fucking 6am today, self). 

WE SHALL SEE IF THE TRUTH WILL INDEED SET ME FREE.

And now, perhaps, to the knife.  Just because I miss it, and I want to.  Ah, I'm a fucking lost cause! 

Happy birthday to youuu
Happy birthday to youuuuuuu
Happy biiiirthday goddamn Baaatmaaaannn
( Happy bithdaaaaay toooo yoooooouuuuuuu )

 

Most of them are from the old Detective Comics, though some are from Devil's Advocate.  They're just bases I cut from the comic scans, so take em if you want em! 

And yes, I suck at making them exactly 100x100 pixels what with both my lack of computer skillz and fancy programs, but they're all under that size so they'll work just fine as icons.


                  

                                     

...I did this instead of cleaning my room, and now it's 3am.  Self-sabotage much?  *facepalm*

Michael Keaton's Batman just happened to be on TV, and between giggles I learned that Jack Nicholson's Joker likes the artist Francis Bacon.  (He's vandalizing an art museum and stops one of his thugs from cutting up this painting, saying that he "kinda likes that one".  Heh.)

Two Figures.  Reminiscent of Batsy and J, anyone?
Figure Study II.  Note the slaughterhouse meats.
Portrait of Pope Innocent.  Sheer irony.

And as I was looking up moar artz and his bio, I realized Francis Bacon perhaps was a kindred spirit to our Mr. J.

Fun facts from Bacon's life include:
*He grew up in Ireland during the years Sinn Fein was an active revolutionary force
*He was eventually expelled from his family home after a series of violent disagreements with his father, who may have locked him in closets for hours as a child and definitely had him horsewhipped for disobedient behavior on many occasions
*These arguments were due in part to Francis' homosexuality, which was sadly illegal back then; he was famously once caught in front of a large mirror in his father's home and in his mother's underwear, dancing (I think J would approve, no?)
*Francis started his craaazy sex life with those same grooms who horsewhipped him.  Somebody likes to play rough...
*He constantly ran away from boarding schools as a kid; the longest he ever spent in one school was eighteen months
*He liked Nietzsche
*He would violently destroy any paintings he made that didn't satisfy him

I leave you with the following quote from the man himself:

I can't say I was what's called moral when I was young. Morality is a luxury that has come on me with age. I think I just did whatever I could to get by. I'd always stolen money from my father whenever I could. And when I got to London I'd often take a room and not bother to stay and pay the rent. And then, although my parents had always told me I was ugly, I found that some people were attracted to me and thought I was pretty at that age. So I decided to do everything to get people to take a fancy to me, and I didn't care after that.               -Francis Bacon, from an interview with David Sylvester, 1981

*tomatoes to J*

Dear god, I love the SiE crew and this freaking story.  I'll elaborate tomorrow when I'm not wicked exhausted. 

See that, self?  Now no matter how embarrassed you are to say how you feel, you'll have to do it tomorrow anyway.  Sucka!

*collapses into a snoring heap*

Anyone else on meds?  I've been on these anti-depressants for uh oh God now let's see over 16 months now?  Yeah and while they generally have done the trick and become a background feature of my life I forgot to take them yesterday and slept all the damn day and basically just slugged around till I remembered to take them an hour ago.  And now it's like... haha, I don't really know how to describe it, it's just like I can feel them working.  I'm all twitchy and it's like just being in my body and moving my own muscles gives me pleasure and I can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes before I'm off on a new and equally pleasurable tangent.  I'm sitting here giggling with an irrepressible little simle on my face and it's like I can feel my capacity for joy returning.  Oh meds.  Without you my brain goes into serious withdrawal and then when I add you back into the mix I feel fucking manic and high.  Which, you know, ain't such a bad feeling, heh. 

Urgh, I swear this isn't a regular occurrence.  I'm usually so good; just take em like clockwork, just like the good doctors told me to.  I just felt all this flooding in and needed to make some kind of record of it.  Hoooly crap, anti-depressants really are just gentler forms of speed, aren't they?  Fucking isomers of speed. 

I uh think I'm gonna go take a niiiiiice warm shower and just enjoy this till I come the fuck down. 

Between this and my random fuckage lately, I'm gonna come off as a bona fide nutjob.  Oh LJ, you love me enough to keep my dirty little secrets, don't you?  That's what I thought.  Love you too.